No Hope Left
by potterslittleprincess
Summary: "You wish you could go back in time. Warn yourself that it wouldn't turn out the way you wanted."


AN: Everything but the characters is mine, I have no beta so sorry for any mistakes :)

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It's dark you realise. When did it get dark? How long had you been sitting there? You look at the diamond ring sitting innocently on the table before you. It glints as the moonlight catches it. Its beautiful, so very beautiful that it hurts. You've put on and taken off that ring so many times now that you can't really work out where it belongs. On the table? On your hand? It fits your finger like a glove, it's almost like its was destined to be there. So why does it feel so wrong?

You sigh. Once again lifting the ring and studying it, looking for some form of evidence that will prove it's not perfect, that there some hope left. But there's none. Nothing, but perfection gleams back at you. You think back to a time when you wanted nothing but to wear that ring. To be the high-society darling that your mother had planned for you to be. That was before. Everything is different now.

You've changed since the school girl dreams of white weddings and diamond rings. War changed you. It turned you into something you don't recognise any more. The once beautiful woman has gone and left behind is a shadow of what she once was. But it's not just you who's changed. He's changed also. It's not obvious to anyone who doesn't look close enough. But its obvious to you- it always has been. You see the clouds behind his eyes. The scars buried so deep, that many don't believe are even there. The one very obvious scar that he carries as a talisman for the mistakes he made as a child.

You wish you could go back in time. Warn yourself that it wouldn't turn out the way you wanted. That following the crowd won't get you anywhere. That the path you're on leads to destruction and heartbreak. A tear glides across your face and you don't bother to wipe it away. Would it be different if you had done what he asked all those years ago? When he had asked you to run away with him? Would you be in the position you're in now? You smile bitterly; you'll never know. But you will always regret not saying yes. Not leaving that night and escaping in the moment. You'll forever wonder what would have happened if you hadn't laughed at him and told him you were to 'grown-up' to run away.

There are footsteps outside the door. He's home. You push your chair back and stand. You don't want to make this anymore painful than it already is. He opens the door and freezes. His eyes switching between you and the ring in your hand. He opens his mouth to say something but you shake your head. There is nothing that he could say that would ever make this easier. Your heart thuds against your chest so hard you think it might break free. Your eyes are stinging and you can't stop your hands from shaking.

You open your mouth, and the words you've held back for so long start tumbling out.

"I have so many regrets. But the biggest one I'll ever have is us. This isn't the right time for us. Maybe in some other life, we would have worked. But in this one, the place we are now, we just don't. I can't keep doing this anymore, I can't be _that_ girl. I can't pretend anymore. I'm sorry it took me so long to realise it. I'm so very, very sorry. I can't be who you want me to be and you can't be who I need you to be," you pause and search for what you want to say next.

"We aren't kids any more. We can't keep playing pretend and hoping that it matches our real lives. You can't come riding in on a white horse, but I'm not locked in a tower- I don't need to be saved."

You place the ring on the table and walk towards him. "I'll never stop loving you Draco, but I give you my blessing, she's a very special girl." The words catch in your throat and you find it hard to breathe. You move to pass him but his hand reaches out and grabs your wrist, pulling you into his chest.

"Thank you," he whispers "You're right, we're not meant to be. Well maybe we are, but not now, not this time." You nod against his chest, the tears in your eyes spilling over on to the jacket of his suit.

"I love you too Pansy" He murmurs, his voice cracking.

You nod again and pull away.

"Goodbye Draco."

You leave the room and close the door behind you.

And from behind the door you hear his muffled voice saying the words that simultaneously break and fix your heart.

"Goodbye Pansy.


End file.
